Locked Up: The Dirt Linwood Story – Part 1

I apologize for my lack of posting recently.I hope this explains why, and that you’ll forgive my absence.

The truth is, I’m a bit of a drifter. I often move from town to town, being carried wherever the winds of my job take me. See, outside of running this incredibly lucrative and successful blog, I also clean up bars. I get brought in by bar owners looking to protect their investment. Once they lose control of their clientele, I come in an get that shit back in order.

This last assignment was my toughest one yet. People here say I may have bitten off more than I can chew. The truth is, I don’t go to the buffet unless I know I can eat.

Here’s what happened-

April 1st, 2011 – Columbus, Ohio

I received a call from a man in need of my services. He recently purchased a bar in a small town. A bar known for its no hold-barred attitude. Where the motto of “snitches are a dying breed” can be heard between every shit of rumplemintz.

He was worried the place would burn to the ground before he ever saw a return on his investment, and to be honest, I didn’t blame him. I had heard stories of this place. The biker blogs were all abuzz about it. Methheads and hookers flocked to it like the salmon of capistrano.

I had worked some rough places in my day. This one was something else though. But I’m not a huge pussy, so obviously I strapped up, grabbed my collection of tank tops, a pack of cigarettes and headed down to Miamisburg, Ohio: Home of the “Silver Bar”.

April 3rd, 2011 – Miamisburg, Ohio

The place was worse than I thought. I arrived at about dusk and already “Silver Bar” had bar stools being thrown through windows. I walked in with nothing but my cigarettes in hand and an uncanny ability to cool any situation. My first night I always use to observe; I sat back with hot cup of shitty coffee and took it all in.

I saw drug deals, prostitution, minorities, and everything in between. Even the bartender was skimming off the top with each drink he made. There were things in here that would make even the most seasoned of bouncers cringe.

I stayed around until close; it was time to introduce myself to group. Let them know there is a new boss and it was going to my way or get the hell out of the bar-way. First off, we’re running a business here- not a damned charity. I fired the bartender I saw sneaking some profits into his pocket.

He rambled on about how I would regret it. The kid said he was connected – that I didn’t know who the hell I was messing with. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn’t give a damn.

April 4th, 2011 – Miamisburg, Ohio

After clearing house the night before, the atmosphere in the bar had taken a new tone. I surrounded myself with the people I would trust, if I trusted people. The staff bought in- now it was time to let the crowd know…Dalton …Dirt Linwood was in town.

I instilled a new way of thinking into my staff. It was no longer a grab and smash bouncing operation. We were there to keep it cool. Within the first 10 minutes, people were already pushing the limits. My head bouncer KB, a fiery redhead townie, spotted some people dealing in the corner. I sent him over to cool the situation- they didn’t take to kindly, it was time for me to step in.

A few broken broken beer bottles, pool cues, and jaws later, the drug peddlers were being tossed out on their ass to the sound of applause from the other patrons. My message was loud and clear- “Silver Bar” was a clean operation now. We didn’t have time or space for shady shit like that…

Continue reading next week with Part 2 of “Locked up: The Dirt Linwood Story”

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